Babbly Rant of Depression. Please Ignore.

So for the first time in a long while I actually am depressed again. Its been a while since I've actually been in a 'true' depression. Sure I suffer from frequent depressive spurts but those are normal for everyone's daily life right.

Right now I'm in one of those lows that for the past few months have been gone for the first time in years. One person is the cause of the grace period but I will get to that in a little while. I just want to put down some things, they may not be in any sort of order and may jump back and forth in some uneven order so forgive me.

Well, how do I really start? I mean I just sat in the bath for a better part of half an hour just sulking to myself and thoughts going through my head and now it comes to putting it down on paper (well, keyboard but you know what I mean) I find it rather hard. If you know me well enough you know I used to do rather lengthy Facebook posts on how I feel, well this may end up being one of those but thats beside the point again.

Lately I've been sliding down into a pit which I dont think I really ever left, but that a ledge was pushed out for me to hold myself on; a rope thrown down and a helping hand there to pull me back up but I think I slipped again and I can't find the rope yet.

Anyway, let me continue. Some of you may or may not know that I am a game developer and a writer, I dont have much of a portfolio for game development but I have a number of short stories, poems I call Larkisms and a novel (a shitty one but I am working on changing it again) some of which is located here on my blog.

Lately I've felt that I am useless in my writing skill, that I dont have any sort of grip to what I want to do or how to make things work. I know my grammer is terrible; hell just look at this blog post, I bet its full of bad grammar and spelling.

The silly thing is, twice this week I've had people tell me they love my writing, that they loved the way I wrote scenes, that my characters are amazing and my plot is awesome, but why do I still feel like I am not, that I am shit, that its all crap.

I have so many unfinished works that I just can't pick up and finish. I and my girlfriend have started an RP that I am changing into a short story series or novel but even though the plot is amazing and with the help of my gf we're making even better, I still can't pick myself up to finish writing it up even though we have thousands of words, I bet the note and Rp we have would make up a novella on their own.

Moving onto my game development; same problem as the writing but different subject, I have a number of games, idea's and start ups that I haven't even started or got any way through it. Some of you may know that I worked for Bohemia Interactive Simulations for a little while but my 3 month trial ran out and I had to come home from Prague (at an expensive price to myself and my family which I have'nt to even start paying back.) Working there was my dream and now I find myself dreamless, or more correctly I have a set of dreams that I know I wont complete because I am usless.

Moving onto Jobs as a good segue from my dream, I am currently working for Construction Testing Solutions, a company run by two of my cousin's husbands / bf (yea.. what ironic coicidence that two different cousins have husbands / boyfriends that own the same company) Its a good job, I earn a deacent wage for a Monday to Thursday, 8 till half 4 job. Its heavy work and tiring; I basically test soil and different ground samples. Seiving and testing them through several tests. Dirty work but the fact its part time gives me a day to work on my games. This doesn't seem to help as I am just as tired to work these 4 days and keep getting told by parents to "Work all 5" or "work overtime of 6am till half 4 yet I can't even get up for work anyway, why would 2 hours less sleep help me.

Finally my Girlfriend. Deanna, she is the best thing that ever happened to me, she is my everything, I love her without a doubt and my entire heart but sometimes I feel like I can't do enough for her. Its a long distance relationship as she lives in plymouth and I in Doncaster (about a few hundred miles apart) We talk everyday online and text each other constantly. I am currently paying for her to come up to me for a week in March but I still feel like I am not worth her.

I find myself occasionally just thinking "How did I get someone so perfect, I dont diserve someone so perfect, who does everything to make me happy, who makes me laugh, smile and yearn for her to be with me every time I see her face.

I Want to do more for her, I want her in my arms right now so I can just cry, she'd be better off without me and find someone much better than I.

I'll most likely delete this at some point as I get out of the depressed state I am in but I just had to put this out there; I find it hard to speak to people and if anyone actually was here with me right now I'd still not be able to say anything. I find just typing helps and letting it lose, You should see some of the posts that I've saved somewhere on my computer when I've just written things when I was depressed.

Anyway.. im off to bed.. Im ill.. tomorrow I've got more inspections at work so that means no music or audio books (which is the only thing that gets me through the day) and I feel like just curling up and dying)


Cadet Wars Chapter 1

Cadet Wars 

Chapter 1

~ War Begins ~

The Earth Federation had been around for so long that when it finally crumbled, it did so rather quickly and fractured into so many pieces that the smaller ones were quickly gobbled up by the larger of the pieces.

The Empire quickly arose and became one of the more dominant parts of the former federation; taking over an area of space furthest from Earth. The Earth Federation itself had stood for hundreds of years, spanning from the nuclear wars of 2055 right up to its fall at 2550.

What was left of the Federation was now called ‘Earth Gov’, a small collection of systems including Sol, the home of Earth and five of the surrounding sectors that had stayed under their control. Other smaller factions managed to survive; The Kolat Republic, The Rorakan Empire, the Morsan Monarchy and the Solland Kingdom. The other systems either left out of these superpowers either became smaller states or indepenant forces that allied with the larger powers in a mutual agreement.

The Solland Kingdom, more commonly called ‘The Kingdom’ was not that expansive like its brethren nations but had sustained the civil war relatively intact. Its military had been efficient and the Kingdom had secured a lot of the former Earth Federation’s shipyards in the fracturing.

It was over two hundred years since the fracturing and the last shot of the war had been fired shortly before an Armistice was secured and the military budget was being cut left right and centre by the current Kingdom administration. Twenty battle-cruisers had been decommissioned over the past five years alone.
‘Why the hell are we even on the ship if they’re just going to decommission the next ship we’re going to be on?’ Cadet Weapons Operator Franklin Dawson sighed as he picked up his mess tray and began to walk over to the rows of tables with fellow Cadet Weapons Operator Hector Richardson.

‘Because we can get our degree’s with the universities, serve many a year or half a year before being on a decommissioned ship, getting let off and then go get a real job rather than spending our time sailing the borders and dealing with any of the shit that only goes off during peace time.’ CWO Hector spoke firmly as he sat down, sniffing the lump of goo that the chef’s and their cadets called food.

‘I guess you’re right’ CWO Franklin shrugged and dug into the meal without letting his tongue touch it, it looked bad and probably tasted worse.

‘So where’s Harlan’ Hector asked as he washed down his own serving with the jug of water set out for each table.

‘Probably inside Cassandra’ Franklin chuckled.

‘Wasn’t he with Ebony?’ Hector asked before they looked at each other for a moment.

‘I thought I saw Jeanie with him earlier, but she’s in Operations at the moment… it has to be Cassandra’ they both let out a soft chuckle before getting back to their meal.

In fact, Cadet Operations Watch Officer Harlan Landry was inside Cassandra, then out… then in again. To say Harlan was a bit of a ladies man was an understatement, there were more than enough female officers in his little black book to get him discharged for disorderly conduct towards fellow officers enough times to warrant some sort of medal. Harlan just had that way with women, all he usually had to do was flash a smile and they would be hot under the collar almost instantly.

Cassandra, or Cadet Medical Technician Cassandra Bentley was his latest catch, having met her when a routine round of check-ups for the cadets went around. Space was an unforgiving place after all. Cassandra’s dark black hair flung over the pillow as the small mattress inside the bunk rocked back and forth; the sound proof walls hiding any noise the pair let out; more precisely Cassandra let out as she moaned like a pressurization warning siren.

When they were finally finished, Harlan sat up and picked up the bottle of soda from the side, sipping a little before handing it to the panting Cassandra, finding her soft asleep, he leaned down and pecked her lip before making his way to the shower.

Dressed in his fleet blue’s, Harlan left the Cadet Medical Technician to sleep off the rest of her off duty hours while he made his way back to his quarters for a quick nap.

They were aboard the Kingdom Defence Battleship ‘Loyalty and Honour’. To say the Battleship was old was an understatement, The Loyalty and Honour and served during the Fracture and made its way through the service with honours; finally being decommissioned and instead of being sent to the scrap yard where it was sent to the Navy’s training division for the Cadets to practise on.

All the technology on the ship was just about a hundred years old but still worked on the same concepts that the current technology on basic starships worked on. Some new technology had been installed on the old girl but it was still at least 30 years behind. The Kingdom wouldn’t outfit a decommissioned battleship with its latest technology when its own main line ships were suffering cutbacks.

Harlan made his way to his quarters and passed out on his bunk, only to be woken up an hour later by his roommate Cadet Navigation Officer Brian Hardy.

‘Harlan, Get the fuck up! You have to see whats happening on the Home system!’ Brian told him, shaking him awake and turning to the computer console screen on one wall and using a few button presses turned it onto a Kingdom News channel.

The channel showed a large section of a planet covered in a dark cloud as several small lights darted around in the orbit of the planet. The news caster began to explain that the Empire was on the doorsteps and had sent the declaration of war against the planet shortly after they launched a nuclear attack on the largest continent.

Harlan had yet to realise it was the Kingdom’s home world until he saw what continent had been hit.

‘That’s our home!’ he blurted out and stood up.


The Adventures of Nexanda Tor and Andreas Vandersryke - D&D Campaign with GF

The world of Fera, the 1656th Cycle of the Standard Cycle Calendar. The World has come along way in the past 100 years, Gunpowder has risen to match Magic in its power, steam powered devices like trains and factories for linen and food and the printing press grow by the weeks. 

Magic is still in full growth but is matched by the quick uptake of Gunpowder. 

The Ilmarian Imperium wages war with the Umisa Commonwealth. We now follow the adventures of two people, Andreas Vandersryke and Nexanda Tora as they try to make their way in the world


GAME 1: 3/1/2015

Andreas Vandersryke

Deserting Soldier hiding from a fate that could see him ruling a kingdom if he could face his fate and bring apart the dynasty that destroyed his family and his career. Andreas Vandersryke was a Colonel in the 125th "Wings of the Imperium" Regiment  and served in the Western Conflict with the Umisa Commonwealth and was a decorated soldier.

Being the 29th cousin to the King, he had been born to a minor noble family and instead of being an officer from the start, Andreas had worked his way up the ranks from a Private, using "Andreas Vandersryke", a false name which now was more real than his actual birth name.

Andreas found out his entire family had been killed and the lines of succession to the King chocked off in a mass killing of the entire Royal family; only a few princes and princess's got out of it alive, the most known one being the Former King's brother, who now ruled.

Soldiers came one night to kill Andreas and he had barely made it out alive; deciding to go into hiding, Andreas disappeared into the world and for the past 10 years has been alone. Until he ran into a Dragonborn runaway slave trying to barge her way into a castle while of the man he was paid to hunt.

Now Andreas travels with the Dragonborn "Nexanda Tora", perhaps regaining some measure of humanity along the way.

Nexanda Tora

Former slave to many masters since a hatchling, Nexanda escaped and was helped by a village, their priest taking her in and helping teach her the ways of Balahmut. Although her common is not very good, sounding like a child, she is smart and quite intelligent.

Henry Wemmick - Military Officer

An officer stationed as part of the garrison at Brindol, Henry is a big mouthed Sergeant who loves to talk and tell stories of his past accomplishments, even if their a little.. larger than originally. A fondness for a strong spirit, Henry is a stalwart man who will keep the line even if he alone stood to confront the foe.

Eliza Duckfield - Bar Owner / Ex Militia

Owner of the "Antler and Thistle" Tavern. Eliza is a former Ex Militia captain. She is a very good shot with the musket and retired to purchase her favourite tavern when she collected enough pay to do so. Eliza's main feature is a large scar on her right hand cheek which runs down the back of her neck and to her right shoulder.

Ilmarian Imperium Regimental Forces

Standing forces of the Ilmarian Imperium equipped with muskets and a single pistol. The Ilmarian Imperium's Regimental forces are a strong force that if treated properly can devastate a country.


Arriving at the city

The pair arrive at the city from the North East through the east gate. People seem to be uneasy and looking around. Head to the bar for drink.

Bar Fight

Sat having drink. Nex watching card game, Andreas in corner out of way keeping eye on her. Enemies burst in, Andreas hit the first with pistol, drops it and reaches for Musket. Nex charges to save civilian from death. Bar owner (Eliza Duckfield) pulls musket from under bar and fires. Killing enemy with every shot but one (misses higher level one getting up after falling on table after jumping up)

Andreas spears one with bayonet after it charges him.

Bar on fire, kill them, 3 flee

Ogre Bombardier

Head outside, resting and recuperating. Soldiers around and helping civilians. City is under attack, fire and shots everywhere. Ogre with cart of barrels trudges around corner, civilians flee.

Andreas orders men into firing line, 3 a breast and 2 deep. Standing on front line with them, firing down the street, rush to help men in front. Forms them into line and brings Nex with him. Eliza (Ex Militia captain) leads men behind to join Andreas. Henry leads 2 men to flank With Nexanda.

Ogre trudges forward after 4 volleys and hits front line with club. Killing front line, sending Andreas flying 50 feet down an alley. Second line killed. Eliza holds line and fires 2 more volleys.

Henry Wemmick (Military officer in charge) takes men long way around to the rear, Nexanda moves around through side. Stray shot knocks over torch off side of cart, Nex takes it and jumps onto the cart. she attempts to hit the barrels with torch but looses balance and drops sword. this saves her from a club of one of the archers. After another volley the cart shakes, barrel falls and splits on the carts floor, and she looses balance, 

Hitting ground she realises she doesn't have the torch anymore; cart goes up in explosion as Henry's men drag her back. Ogre, cart and archers go up in blaze.

Andreas struggled to feet, firing shots slowly as he took a step forward each time. 3 misses but last shot kills Ogre through side of its head. He collapses.

Nexanda takes him in her arms and they are treated by a medic.


Medic does his best with "he should be dead" comment. Mage comes up to heal and says same. Pair argue, Older woman doc tells them "If you want to fuck, then do it after work" and the pair get back to work. (Mage-professional disagreements)

During treatment in medical tent, Half Orc man storms in, looking for people who killed the Ogre, Andreas shys away and Nex says they did. He storms up and takes her hand and tells her good job.

Spend next day and next healing, in a private room

Meeting with Councilman

Henry comes and gives them letter, Councilman Eoffram Troyas wants to meet with them. During meeting, the half elf councilman wants to hire them to help but doesn't really trust them. The pair try to convince him. Andreas making it seem that they want to help without mentioning he wants to, Nex wanting to help because it is morally good to do. She had some knowledge of an attack 10 years ago thanks to one of her former masters being from around her mentioning it at some point.

Nex tries to convince the councilman but cant convey it in common as her language isn't well versed. Andreas does it for her. Andreas gives a "Who else you got to do this?" speech and Nex compromises with a "Pay half, we do job, pay then" - Deal for 200 per missing person - 200x7. plus 200 for retrieving lost treasures.
Interrogation of Kobold

Threaten him, Notice red hand up side down - Failed to convince him, sent wrong place to ambush

​​Heading out
Nex bought flintlock pistol, Andreas bought horse and cart

Riding down road, nex jumps off and walks in front, Andreas ready with rifle. Enemies scuttle out and attack. Nex fires pistol and One hits Nex with poison dart and she goes to her knees. Andreas fires musket and then charges next to her; telling her to get on, firing pistol at it. Nex climbs on and horse charges off, hitting one of them and then it climbs on the back.
​Andreas reloads pistol and fires it at the enemy, it falls off the back and Nex passes out thanks to poison.

​Nex Poison healing
Andreas rides for a mile before jumping into back and cutting off her armour. He heals her after going and finding herbs to help her.
​Sets up camp for her to rest
​Andreas scouting

At castle riverroar, Andreas heads off to scout the place alone, leaving rifle with her and taking her pistol.
​Comes back, house empty and first room kind of scouted. Decide to go back for more help

​Return to city and meeting with Councilman
at city, talk with councilman and he says they can have 5 men. Men be waiting for them at gates in 2 hours.

​Next Morning and Start of Journey
Men waiting, 4 regulars and Henry. Nex tells men, "If Protection needed, hide behind me... meat shield. " Henry laughs and offers drink to Nex, strong alcohol which makes her react to it. He laughs and starts trying to recruit her, giving long story about his past in the West. Andreas tries to hide the reaction he had to the mention of the West War. 
GAME: 04/01/2015

Company make their way to the Castle. Make their way into the catacombs quietly. Engage first group of hobgoblins, one fleeing north down to the stairs while the rest are butchered. Andreas takes injury and one is set alight by a bullet knocking over one of the brazers and spilling oil.

Move East into the next room, heading into the stairs and splitting to engage the lizards there. Andreas and 2 men hold off one while Nex, Henry and the rest hold off the other one. Nex suddenly has something just on her when she is pulled down by the lizard and stabbed. A Gnome jumps away and attempts to flee back into the next room and hides behind a corner. 

Henry accidental stands on the runes and is sent flying down the stairs behind them. After the fight they move into the next room and find a dwarf tied across the room. Moving up, Nex is jumped on again as the Gnome  tries to stab her, this time failing to get past her armour. Andreas fires a musket shot and hits it while its stealth, then draws his pistol and fires again, hitting the mark instantly and killing the Gnome.

The dwarf explains where he was brought from and where another prisoner was.

The group then move back to the main hall, leaving the dwarf and heading east. Peering around the corner, Andreas gives orders and Henry hands over a grenade which goes short but kills 1 and stuns the rest. The group move in formation and pick them off. Andreas getting hit badly against the wall and almost being knocked out.

After rest, the group move west into a large room with a large floating image of a swamp and castle. Moving apart, one of the men stares to long and a Jelly comes from the one way portal and attacks .After a few minutes a Spectre comes from the south west wall, then a few minutes later another from the south east. Killing them both and killing the jelly which split into two, the group then moved West into the next room.

Moving through the dark room, the group were suddenly ambushed by Fire creatures on either side. The fight almost went bad, one man went down but was healed by Nex and the rest picked off the others.

Resting for a little while, the group went north and checked a room where they found another prisoner locked in a cell, Andreas broke the lock and Henry put his men on guard outside the room and in the hallway adjoining.

GAME 7/1/2015

Crypt Room

Moving back outside into the room, the group headed east up into the next room while one of the men lead the rescued hostage back to the exit. The group was engaged by a trio of spiders which were quickly dispatched. The group then headed north and into a small hallway which contained a hobgoblin and a lizard. Andreas didn't manage to be stealthy so gave them away, but they managed to kill the enemies.

Stealthily heading down the stairs, Andreas scouted ahead with one of the other soldiers following. Unfortunatly Nexanda fell and stumbled down the iron staircase. With a swear, Andreas fired his rifle into the enemy hobgoblins. The trooper next to him fired too and while Nexanda got up and moved behind Andreas to  fire her pistol, the others fired from above them on the staircase.

Taking out the hobgoblins with ease, the group spread out, Henry taking care of a wounded man. Andreas noticed on the side was the treasure; the helm and the mirror of fate. Holding the mirror, Andreas put it down before moving to the others; Nexanda takes hold of the mirror and suddenly finds herself in a new room.

The hallway was that of a rich castle and what sounds like a war raged outside. Moving through the hallway and into a room, she had entered a study of some sort. "If your here to kill me, just do it"  a man called out. She told him she wasn't going to kill him, he slowly admits that he is the King of Ilmaria. He chuckles to himself and says "so today is the day" confused, Nexanda follows him as he orders her to. Limping down the hall with a bad leg, he leads her to the throne room.

There he tries to get the rifle and jacket from the plaque on the wall, telling her to help him with it. Putting it on, he tells her who he is; he is Andreas, 40 years in the future. He explains she told him of this day 20 years prior and then tells her to stay behind the curtain behind the throne.

Sitting down, he waited while a bunch of soldiers, two in a blue trench coat and tricorn hat, two children (one looking 13 the other looking about 5) and a tall woman approach. They tell him the red hand are  close and he says he's staying. They argue but he tells them he's staying, the little child starts to cry and Andreas tells him "Dont cry, Kings cant cry" and the child stops, before telling the older child to look after her brother. The teen nods and removes their hood to hug him; a Dragonborn female.

Sending them off with Henry, now head of his royal guard, the powder mages are sent off too leaving the tall female and Andreas alone. Their conversation is quiet but he can be heard telling her he loves her and will die a good death.

She walks out the side to join the children but stops to stare where Nex is, directly at her before leaving. Andreas nods to Nex and then waits as the Red hand soldiers enter. He fires his rifle at them as they charge, killing many. Powder horns explode with some sort of invisible magic, he throws bullets at them which shoot out like musket fired bullets; shots aimed at him dodge slightly.

He takes a shot to his kneecap and goes down, still fighting. He kills more until they get too close, switching to his pistol he fires more; drawing and dropping 5 pistols in a row. They then lay into him, stabbing and hacking at him. After 5 minutes they leave with his crown and jacket, coughing blood; he calls Nexanda over to her and with his dying breath tells her. "do not interfere with the execution" before dying in her arms.

The moment he died, she was suddenly back in the room with the mirror, which was now cracked. Andreas turned and complained that she'd broken it. With a small tear she walks over to Andreas and tells him "look after that knee" before going off a little. Looking confused, Andreas continued helping Henry with the trooper who was hurt.

After the brief rest, the group head through to the next room and attack the rats inside, eliminating them and rescuing Mirtala, they guide her back to the entrance. The group head downstairs and eliminate two large drakes and saving the so called "witch" from the magical trap; which Andreas jumped in and pulled her out with the second where it was not working. It turns out that she wasn't a witch, she just played it to keep people away from her. Taking her back upstairs she is left with the group of civilians. After another long rest of 4 hours; the group then proceed through to the hallway and eliminate both of the goblin's watching the hallway.

Proceeding back to the last staircase, the group head up and ambush the group of hobgoblins and  the drakes. Nexy charged right in to fight one of the drakes while the rest held off the goblins with musket fire. The group fires on the goblins and takes them out with ease with the drakes being engaged.


Writing schedule and writing challenge

Hi there everyone, Lewis here!

I know I said that I would post more to this blog but there hasn’t really been time for me to do much of that. So now, (and yes I’ve said this before) it will change.

I have currently moved to Prague in the Czech Republic and I am working for Bohemia Interactive Simulations; the guys who make the VBS military sim and a sister company to Bohemia Interactive Studio; who make ARMA and DAYZ.

So, working here I don't have a lot of time to myself, but I do get an hour at lunch, with my lunch being about 20 minutes of that hour. My plan and challenge is to have a short story written by the end of a week.

Starting next week I am going to write in my dinner and get a short story finished within that week.

This weeks title is “REBOOT” a sci fi short story inspired by such themes as those used in the films “source code” and the new Tom Cruise film “Edge of Tomorrow”. I’ll post it up here and on my website for people to view.


Scent of Lilly and Rose - Attack On Titan Fan Fiction

Here is the Second Fan Fic, I'm going to use this for the background for Mike at my character Panel at J-Con. Details for that will be posted on here very soon too!

Scent of Lilly and Rose

Mike’s nose had always given him the edge with everything; he had always smelled things before anything ever happened. He could smell when his mother was cooking before they were even within the walls of the city; out in the grass lands between Wall Rose and Wall Maria. He could always smell his friends when they were in the bushes and tree’s playing ‘Scout and Titan’. That day they had returned to the Utopia district, Mike, his sister Tona and three others of their friends; Katelyn, Verald and Harath.

Mike held a bundle of fish that had been bought by the group, his and Tona’s mother instructing them to use the few coins they had been given to bring fish, bundles of kindling for fire and fresh fruit from the market stalls.

‘That was fun today!’ Tona panted as she carried the small wrapped bundle of fruit. Katelyn was Tona’s friend and had been welcomed into Mike’s friends Verald and Harath. She spoke up and chuckled.

‘Until Mike sniffed us out again! He’s a damn Titan hunter’ she laughed softly, punching him in the arm and almost dropping the sticks she carried. Mike smiled at her, scratching the bottom of his nose as he usually did.

‘Just got lucky I guess’ He smiled. ‘It’s easy to find you Katelyn, you’ve got a unique smell’ he told her and then suddenly blushed.

Verald and Harath laughed and started giggling ‘Mike and Katelyn, sitting on the Wall, K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ they didn’t get that far as Katelyn slapped the back of their heads.

Walking along and up to the house; a single floored building among the many houses that usually lined a city along the wall. Mike and the gang entered the front door.

‘Ma we’re home’ Mike called and put the bundle on the side, his father wasn’t here, as a member of the Garrison force he was out on duty. His mother came out and kissed her daughter and son’s forehead while nodding to the other three.

‘Hello Mrs Zacharius’ the all spoke and nodded to Mike and Tona and left for their own homes not too far away.

‘Alright you two… you better get ready for bed, I’m not having you both running up and down all night. Tona, go make the bath, Mike, get your nose peg on and help with the fish’ she teased, Mike smiling with a sarcastic smile before helping his mother.

Tona’s red hair was tied into a pony tail as she poured hot water from the brass tap into the large metal bath tub while Mike used a knife and carefully cut out the bones.

The night passed and their father returned, drinking with his wife before heading back to bed with her. The next morning they had school and learnt more about the differences between the Scout Legion, the Garrison and the Military Police as well as more about the Royalty in the inner walls.

Once school was over, they rushed home, dumped their things and in a hurried ramble told their parents they were going out again to play. They headed into the nearby forest and met with the others whom jumped the pair.

Laughing and giggling, they played well into the afternoon; Mike picking out his sister very easily with her unique scent of Roses, Roses did not grow here or nearby so she was easy to spot. Neither was the new scent he picked up, he was sure it was another flower; maybe Lilly? But they didn’t grow here. It had to be Katelyn.

The group would never know how the Titan’s had gotten into the walls between Rose and Maria and they would never know what had caused them to appear now or be undetected.

Mike was the first to smell them. He stood there in silence, looking up as a breeze passed through the opening in the trees.

‘Do you smell that?’ he asked, Tona stood next to him; holding two sticks as swords.

‘Smell what?’ she asked and turned to him, giggling as she thought he smelt the others. ‘You’re probably picking up Katelyn, she’s wearing new perfume for you, Lilly flower’ she giggled again, ‘I think she likes you’ she told him.

Mike liked her too but wouldn’t admit it; they were young and only kids. Boys hated girls and girls hated boys; that’s how it was supposed to be when you were kids.

‘It’s not that… I can smell that, it’s… something else… I can’t describe it’ He mumbled, scratching his nose and taking a few steps before sniffing again. ‘I smell it… over there’ he motioned north, towards Wall Maria.

A scream filled the glade and Tona stopped to stare out past the way he pointed; where the scream came from. ‘That was… Verald’ she mumbled.

That was when it burst through the tree’s, a young boy in its mouth; well, half one. Tona froze as she went white. Mike couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, he wanted to tell them to run, to hide… To flee the Titan.

Someone else was running from the tree’s, it was Harath, he was trying to avoid the Titan but it was useless, he was squashed under the feet of the giant like a rotten fruit; blood coating the green grass and berry bushes.

‘Harath!’ Tona yelled and then clasped her mouth with both hands. The Titan stared up from where it was looking at its dark red foot and locked eyes with the pair.

In an instant it began to break into a run, charging at them with its jaw slack and its hands flopping at its side as if useless; even though it clearly had used them a moment ago.

‘Run!’ Mike finally spoke and grabbed his sisters shoulder and moved her back, he stood his ground for a moment as if he was going to fight it only to run with her; grasping her wrist to keep her moving.

Tears streaked down Tona’s cheeks as she was half dragged half guided through the trees. The ground shook with every footstep of the Titan, it was getting closer. Daring to take a look over her shoulder, she found it less than a hundred meters away.

That was when she felt the world turn upside down and her face hit the dirt; pain running through her body from scratches and grazes on her knees and hands.

Mike ran a few more feet before sliding to a stop, kicking up dirt as he did so. ‘Tona!’ he yelled with a scream. Running back he wouldn’t make it; the Titan was on them.

A rock flew out of nowhere and hit the Titan in the face, causing it to jolt and hit a nearby tree. Turning its large head, it found where the source was.

Katelyn was stood about a hundred meters away with half a dozen rocks in her arms. Throwing a few more she screamed ‘Over here you dumb ass!’ then broke into a run.

The Titan, forgetting about its current prey, burst into another run after the young girl. Mike took this chance and ran to his sister. ‘Tona, we have to get to the wall, tell the guards’ he told her but she couldn’t move.

‘My leg hurts’ she cried through a face of tears, looking down, her foot was twisted the wrong way; she’d either badly twisted it or broken it and by the cries, it was the latter.

Taking a deep breath, Mike picked her up and piggy backed her. ‘Leave me Mike, You’ll only be slowed down’ she whimpered but he didn’t say anything; he only ran.

He could smell the Titan a few hundred meters away, and still smell the scent of Katelyn’s new perfume. She was still safe… maybe…

‘Titan!’ he yelled as they reached the open field, five hundred meters from the wall. He repeated his yell over and over as the guards by the gate slowly turned to face him.

That was when the tree’s behind the children burst into splinters and the Titan came out into the open. The men stood in shock. A Titan had not been seen inside the walls, ever! Had wall Maria been breached?

Mike still smelt Katelyn, where was she? He turned over his shoulder and saw her. The young blonde haired girl was hanging from the titan’s mouth, her head, shoulders and arms visible but nothing else but a blood splattered corpse.

The tears that had already been dribbling down his face began to run even more as he broke into a sprint. He’d never run so fast in his life.

But it wasn’t good enough. Something tight gripped him and his legs failed to touch the ground for the next step. Screaming in his ear, Tona cried. Horrid breath filled Mike’s nose as he faced the Titan, staring at them as it moved them to its gaping maw.

This was it; he was dead… just like his friends, just like his sister would be, just like… Katelyn…

Then the ground hit him. He had not seen it, but he’d caught the scent just after the rush of rotting and bile filled his senses, a new scent… Hard steel, wood and gas.

Peering up, hot steam filled his vision but he saw it; the green cloak, the Three Dimensional Manoeuvring Gear…

…and the Wings of Freedom! A Scout Legionnaire.

The Scout had cut through the wrist of the Titan and let the hand fall, Tona was screaming again. Mike began to pull the hands apart and pulled Tona out. ‘Come on Tona… we have to move!’ he insisted and picked her back up, princess style in his arms.

The clash of hard steel and flesh could be heard behind him, Mike turned and watched. The Titan was flicking its hand and stump around to try and catch the fly that buzzed around him. The scout was making a name for himself, he was avoiding the hits and using both the Tree’s about fifty meters back, the nearby windmill and the wall to dodge and move around the Titan.

Tona was gone from his arms, Mike suddenly looked and saw a flash of red shaking something about ten meters away, and it was a body. He began to run and call ‘Tona! Get back here!’ but it was too late.

Tona looked up from Katelyn’s body and stared into Mike’s eyes. He would never forget that stare; she had no idea that it had killed her.

The Titan’s mouth snapped on her neck from above, decapitating the young girl in a single bite, a quick death… but a death none the less.

‘No…’ Mike mumbled, and then shook his head as tears filled his eyes. ‘No… no… NO!’ He broke into a run, a wooden stick in his hand like a two handed blade and charged the Titan. The scout Legionnaire came down and swooped him into his arms before Mike was taken in the chomping maw of the beast.

‘No! I need to get her!’ Mike yelled but the man simply held on tight. Mike landed by the wall in the arms of another man, a Garrison force soldier. The Scout took off and moved to chase after the Titan that had begun to run off into the forest.

Mike had no idea he was in the arms of his father, whom had watched the entire thing and simply stood by; even with the gear strapped to his waist, he could not do anything even when his own son, a boy of only ten years of age had charged the titan with a stick no bigger than his arm. He’d stood by with full gear and did nothing when his daughter was killed.

Mike watched the scout take off through the trees, his three dimensional gear hissing and bringing out clouds of gas in his wake.

All he saw was his sister’s gaze, Katelyn’s face, his other friends too. All he saw were the Wings of Freedom. All he smelt was the Titan that had destroyed his life.

~* Some Years Later *~

Standing on the wall of Wall Rose, Mike slowly fell and landed near the small bridge that extended out from the gate, he walked into the field and past the old windmill that stuck in its spin. Everything was rotting out here: crops, building, and life.

It was after the breach of Wall Maria, the re-sealing of Wall Rose and the capture of the Titan Shifter Annie; she was being held in this city, the city where he came from. He had stopped to see his father and mother, whom had been happy to see him when he appeared suddenly.

Walking to the patch of dirt where the grass had never seemed to grow again, Mike slowly knelt down and placed the red rose on the spot where his sister had died. There was nothing here of course, no graves inside the wall; no room for them, so a name had simply been recorded on the large gate house, every death by a titan was recorded here. The wall had been updated since then but it still was there Tona Zacharius – Aged 7.

The wind caught through the trees and a small creek of wood filled the air. Mike’s nose shifted, a scent had filled the air, a scent he’d known for years now but this one was something else; that scent… it was that one.

Standing to full height, Mike stared where his nose led him, into the trees. He began to walk. His men on the wall looked at each other and called out to him but he ignored them, so they left him; they didn’t know why he’d carried the rose here but had guessed the reason.

The trees were the same, the path was the same, and everything was the same. The scent was the same. Walking through the familiar tree’s, Mike had never returned here after the incident, he’d tried to find that Scout Legionnaire but could never find who it was; it had apparently been a member whom was collecting supplies for an Expedition East but had to collect something from that city for the group.

There was no sound, which was his first clue, the scent was getting stronger. Slowly unhooking the grips from his armpits, Mike put them to the holster with a slight click.

That click was all that was needed. The Titan burst out the trees and Mike shot into the air, he knew it had been there. The bolt hit the tree in front of him and brought him several meters into the air; spinning around and firing again.

The Titan jumped and tried to grab him like a small child trying to fight a bully whom held their toy higher than they were.

‘Time to die bastard’ Mike snarled and swung; he would not succumb to his anger, he would not charge in like a rookie and get wiped out. He was a Squad Leader, Second only to Levi, if not equal to in skill.

As he swung around from tree to tree, the Titan watched, as if recognising him, it snarled at him; bones of something in its teeth.

Mike’s anger grew now, he charged through the tree’s, but not straight on, he swung from tree to tree and passed through another; zigzagging his way towards the beast before suddenly turning one hundred and eighty degree’s, his back to the Titan.

Firing a bolt up in the air at a branch above, he fired his gas and suddenly went up in the air and around the top of the branch; swinging like a swing set pushed above the bars.

He came up and high into the air, high above the tall trees. Seeming to hang in the air like a bird, Mike thought he felt something touch his cheeks, looking up, he was sure he’d smelt the smell of Lilly and Rose. Katelyn and Tona’s scents.

There was no time to think about it, as he began to fall. This move was dangerous, he’d only ever done it once and that was years before and out of luck. Levi had once told him ‘Never do that again, if you can kill it, kill it; don’t play tricks with a Titan’. He had been young then, too young to understand a kill from a styled kill. He realised the difference pretty quickly when half a squad was wiped out.

The speed in which he fell was like a bullet, slicing down through the canopy and towards the Titan that was staring up at him; maw wide to catch him.

However he did not get a chance. Both bolts fired and impaled the beast in the eyes. As he fell past the head with a small burst of gas to dodge him, Mike swung under the beast’s legs and up in the air…


The neck, the weak spot came apart in a single slice and mike landed on a nearby tree. Watching the Titan fall to the ground with a thud, Mike landed and pulled out his signal gun; firing a smoke into the air to signal he’d found a titan and to get reinforcements. Of course he’d taken it out but there could be more out here.

He doubted it; his nose would pick them up. Walking over to the corpse, he passed the mouth and pushed its lips open; slowly he began to pull out two things.

When the group had arrived, landing next to the body, they watched Mike as he knelt down, digging a small hole in the ground of the glade… the glade where the titan had first emerged all those years ago, the very one he’d just fought in. Was that coincidence or fate?

‘What you got there Sir?’ one of them asked, and then stepped back. Mike placed the two skulls in the hole and slowly covered it with dirt.

Looking to his right, he saw a Lilly and a Rose side by side, planted there in the glade. Picking them, he placed them on the fresh soil he’d just covered the skulls with and mumbled. ‘For you, whom carry the Wings of Freedom, soar on high and wait, for we will meet again, my sister, Tona and my friend, Katelyn. We will meet again, when I join thee, with my own pair of Wings.

Attack On Titan / Shingeki no Kojin Cosplay - Mike Zacharius Photo's

Hey everyone, I just about finished styling my Mike Wig, here is a quick set of photo's I did with it just with my shitty webcam, Once I have my 3DM gear sorted out, I'll get some good set done with my Iphone's camera, which is miles better than this one I've got on my webcam (Pretty sure its 1.3MP and VERY old. Atleast 10 years lol)

Expedition of Blood - Attack on Titan Fan Fiction

Here is a little something I just wrote up for a quick idea for Mike's past, this will be during the earlier expedition, not the one at the start of the first episode, it would be prior to that. Maybe 3 or 4 before that.

Expedition of Blood

They were all around, how had his nose lied to him? It hadn't, it had just been overwhelmed, nine titans had appeared out of the trees and circled the lone human, his gas was low and he only had two spare blades in each holster. Standing on the ground as the titans slowly lumbered their way through the trees, Mike Zacharius stared at them, slowly scratching under his nose for a moment. Yes.... nine, how was he going to get out of this?

Mike had never suspected his first Expedition outside of the walls to end like this, his horse killed half an hour before and the rest of his team moved on at his words; he'd not slow down the group. He'd made his way into the forest so he could effectively use his Three Dimensional Movement Gear, and he was glad of it now, he'd smelt one coming and avoided it but the smell was everywhere, they were everywhere.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't avenge her. He'd die right now and not a word would be given to his folks back home. No, he wouldn't leave it at that. He'd fight to his last breath. Twisting himself so that he could put a bolt into a nearby tree, taking into the air with a twirl and firing another. The nearest titan swung its lumbering arm at him and he missed it by a hairs breath; twisting his body and firing another shot, Mike ran down the arm for a moment before pushing off and swinging down and up.


A clean swipe across the neck of the first. Before it even began to tilt at the blast, the next one came at him.


Another clean swipe however this one put him directly in the path of the third titan, its mouth wide as it began to bring its maw on Mike. Swinging himself to face the titan, he fired both bolts directly into its eyes. Pushing his gas to full for the barest of seconds, Mike's trajectory brought him up and over.


Third one down. An arm grabbed his foot and began to swing him around. 'Shit' he swore and felt the titan's grasp on his foot. Suddenly all the world turned upside down as his boot came undone; how fortunate that he'd forgot to tie the last brace on his boot, it had saved his life. Swing and...


Fourth down. Turning to check the area around him, still in mid-flight, Mike saw the other five bearing down on him now, all together and bunched up. A gap, right there...

Firing a bolt on a tree and using it to bring him around on a Two hundred and Seventy degree angle, he launched himself with what remained of his gas. The movement was so fast; they barely had time to swing for him. In a bullet trajectory, his head towards them and his feet behind him, Mike began a twirl he struck!




Three down, he'd passed the first and cut, using the twirl, he'd brought himself around one eighty degree's and killed the second; still spinning he'd killed the third. Pressing down on the trigger; his rear gas port sputtered. Fumes...

The two that had remained reacted slowly and cut each other’s face in half as they swung for where he had been moments before. Using a nearby tree, he fired his last bolt and swung around, the Titan's lined up as they turned to face him. About half way around the gas ran out and he knew this was his last chance; here he lived or died.

His move brought him around and on a collision course with them, no alterations now...


Staring at the last Titan, he saw death in its eyes, death claimed for him...


The last titan fell and Mike fell to the ground, rolling on his side before flipping to his feet and sliding to a stop. His hands were caked in blood and hot steam rolled off him as it evaporated, the corpses behind him already steaming to nothing.

'I did it' he mumbled as he looked back. 'But it does not matter, I am already dead without gas' he added to himself, turning to where a new smell had appeared. 'Wait...' he mumbled and smirked.

'Hey' the voice spoke non-chelantly down at him from the horse, the rider coming in and stopping near mike.

'Hey' he replied back and motioned to the free horse.

'Thought you might need it, saw the steam from outside the forest, thought someone might be in here' the man told him and handed the reins of the horse to Mike, whom jumped up with ease.

'I'm out of gas' Mike told him and the man turned to the titan corpses lay around, nine all together.

'You take them all out yourself?' he asked, Mike nodded, scratching the bottom of his nose.

'Takes skill to do something like that, lots of it; few would have even moved, even fewer survived that' the man explained, Mike shrugged.

'I have my reasons for staying alive' he explained, no other comments were needed. The man motioned out the forest to the south.

'The convoy is just a mile that way, it was clear when I was riding but we can get you more gas' He explained and they kicked off in a sprint.

'What's your name?' the man asked, Mike told him. 'Well Mike, fancy joining my squad?' the man asked, a smile on his lips. Mike didn't need to think.

'Yes' he told the man, a smile appearing on his own lips.

'Well, congratulations Mike, welcome to First Squad. You know my name?' the man asked. Mike nodded.

'Sure, First Squad leader Erwin Smith'


Metal gear solid V Phantom pain quick review

Finished and played Metal gear solid V Ground Zeroes. Is it worth the 25 quid... I dont really know...  Its length... No... Its game play and story.. Yes...

The Dynamic AI is ACTUALLY dynamic, it's predicable and unpredictable like a real human, the shift between action and stealth is perfect, it beats what Splinter cell tried to do easily. However, the length carries it down. If they had made the last bit, the part you fight on Mother base, it would be perfect... I give it a 10/10 on gameplay and story... 1/10 on length...


NaNoWriMo 2013–Writers Block < No, not really, that's the story Title :D

So, NaNoWriMo is here! I am currently writing a novel about a writers blocked Writer and a mystical demon; similar to Alan Wake and taking a lot of inspiration from it plus many idea’s I have myself.

If you wish to check my progress on the novel; please go to: http://nanowrimo.org/participants/larkin125/novels/wip-writers-block/stats and also check here on my blog, on my YouTube channel HERE or on my Facebook and twitter.


Guess What I am doing?!

Hello guy’s, Long time no see; I have been trying to post something here but I haven’t had really the mood or the need to post anything but I am trying to branch out myself a little and pick up things once more.

This is one of them.

Anyway, down to something to talk about; I am going to be starting NaNoWriMo 2013 in November and its going to be called ‘Legion’

Here is the Synopsis for the story.

Legion follows the life of a single man from his mid-teens through to his elderly life as he is picked up by the Imperium's Legion. Drafted and trained to kill the enemies of the Ilmarian Imperium in its founding years; Legion is set in the early history of the same universe that 'The Way The Stars Fall' does but thousands of years in its history.

The world of Ilmaria is filled with many different countries and their governments, many different types of people. The Ilmarian Imperium rises up from a single small nation to become the predominant government on the world. This story will follow a small slice of the  history from the eyes of a single soldier, rising to become leader of his own force; doing what he must in a tragic war for survival.

The entire story is based around my ‘The Way the Stars Fall’ universe but what the Imperium would be like in its early stages; sword and shield. I am going to be basing a lot of it on The Roman Empire during its rise, but also throw in some other influences. Hope it is all well; my plan is to at least get half the novel finished before the end (as I never finished NaNoWriMo since I started).

Will be uploading videos to YouTube as well as on here to give posts about what I am doing.